Tuesday, 28 August 2012

New things..

Sometimes it takes a little while to adjust to "new things" doesn't it?

So often we try something once, don't particularly like it, and then write it off, without giving it a fair and good try.  A new place... a new person... a new way of doing something.... a new food.... a new way of life.

I was beginning to think that perhaps "daycare" for Kendyl might not be "right" for her.

She was fine when we were in the "settling in" period.  But when it came time for me to do a drop and go the proverbial poo hit the fan!  (and it was not a pretty sight!) haha.

There was screaming.....the kind with eyes wide open, frightened, no "terrified". Tears, lots and lots of tears... there was negotiating..she was saying "Please mummy don't go and I will be good, and I will listen...and I will be really happy........"  Oh man it was heartbreaking.

As I had never "done" daycare before (since we were solely playcentre etc with Asher)... I had absolutely no idea how to go about the seperation process....
Do I do the "hard" method and just say... "No..you're staying here" and out the door I go?   (those of you who know me how ridiculous this is for me to even consider...haha).  I might go on and on and on about how this child of mine has driven me crazy since her arrival ...........actually no even BEFORE her arrival...with her antics....... but at the end of the day, I love her, I miss her and I really do hate seeing her so anxious/worried.

Or, do I do the "there there my baby...okay I'll stay another 5 minutes".... sit and play with her for 5 mins until she calms down, then repeat the whole "freak out" session again......???  What do I do? How do I do it? How do NORMAL people do it?

Then a couple of nice carers at the centre stepped up and said... you say goodbye to her, we'll take her to do some pictures etc after she's said goodbye and she'll be fine after a little while.
So we did that.  She was still quite distraught, but she settled down quickly (apparently).  .. I know this as I was so "over the top crazy first time daycare mumma" that I rang back about 3 times  harrassing people to see if she'd settled... and "were they sure".  

** I know what you're all thinking.... Oh man... poor centre having to deal with Juanita!...and you're right!**

So, those first few times, I'd drop her off in a state...drive up the road, unable to see the road due to the copious amounts of tears welling from my own eyes....have to pull over and end up in a heaving sobbing terrible mess......then ringing my husband to try and share some of the awfulness with him!! haha.  (I know everyone's rolling their eyes about now, but I'm just being honest)  I would love to have a tale of me being all brave and okay about leaving her there....but I wasn't I was a MESS!!

I had a good ol' natter to a friend of mine, who worked in the childcare industry before having her bub... and she gave me a few "hints" about how to leave her.

Arrive at the centre..hang up Kendyls bag, say to Kendyl, alright, come on lets find ... *insert carer/teachers name here* and she can look after you when Mum leaves....etc (she put it much better)...
Now, yesterday I got to try it out.... and to be honest, I didn't REALLY like my chances, as this kid was so stressed previously.
So over the weekend I had been "gearing her up" for daycare...saying... Oh and tomorrow will be daycare, what fun things do you think you'll do tomorrow?"  (even though I had begun to really dread Mondays coming around again)... I tried to stay positive, and she was buying into it.
"I want to make Papa a picture for his birthday" she said...
Then yesterday on the drive there, she was speaking so positively about the centre...she said "you are going to stay for a little while aye Mummy??" and I said "Yes, I will hang up your bag and find Nicky, and you can do a picture and Mummy will be back later" ...................... "Okay Mummy" she said, no hesitation whatsoever.  Negative me kept thinking... "Oh yeah, wait til we get there"
So we arrive... she is so excited as she FINALLY has her name on her bag peg.......BONUS!  "Hi Macey, Hi Keira, Hi Anji" she said to everyone, and hello.........off she disappears with them!!?
Oh my...
Oh my... I think .. surely it cannot be this easy??

Then she runs back.... "I have found Nicky" she said, "you can go now, we are going to play and then do our picture"    My baby leans in...squeezes me, kisses me and waves bye bye....   I turn to go and open the door and then she starts yelling... "Mummy Mummy Mummy...." ....... Oh no here we go....
"Mummy...... can you get me a treat too for being GOOD?" she says with a cheeky smile...   Oh man, how could I NOT!!

And then I watch her run back out to Nicky who's waiting for her at the painting station!!!!

Wow... I feel relieved, and like a huge burden has lifted off of my shoulders.
How will I spend my next 6hours not pacing, watching the clock, worrying, fretting...???    I know, I will go spend some of hubbys money! heehe.

If you'd have asked me last week what I thought of daycare it would have been a total contrast to how I am feeling today............some things just take a little time :)


  1. So glad it's not just me who blubbed.

    Way to go on working through the difficulties and making it a WIN for both of you and a loss for hubby's credit card :P

    1. haha.. yeah Go Hubbys credit card!! hehe.
      Oh and I am so glad too...that I'm not the only sooky... and mine wasn't just a little cry..it was the big ugly heaving kinda crying!! hahaa. shame on me! ;)

    2. I, too, am the queen of the ugly cry! I wear my crown with pride!

  2. Thanks I so needed this post. About to start mr Zak zak at day care this week too. Except he is going to way worse I suspect!

    1. Oh, all the best my friend xxx I picked up a very "proud of herself" Kendyl yesterday, very proud that she had a great day and did not cry for mummy! :) xxxx

  3. Um, big crier here.
    I did the pull over and cry too.
    The ring the man and cry too.
    The get around the corner and cry.

    I could hear my kids stop their anxious/distraught/loud-as scream (yes both did this, so I had to go through it twice) the minute they lost sight of me.
    Still, it sucked.

    1. haha... I still shake my head when I think of my big ugly cries on those days... lol so glad that so many of you awesome Mummys can relate *whew* :)

      Um..and did your man say "Oh he/she'll be alright... just pop them in the door and go, it'll be okay?" hahaha (some help WJBassett!). I was crying so hard the first time that when I rang Waz, he got worried thinking something terrible had happened, as I couldn't get the words out to explain my crying..hahahah then I even made HIM ring the daycare to check!! lol

  4. Loved this Neetz - although I did Playcentre with all of mine, still had the dramas with creche on Sundays and starting school. Also was told that attaching them to another adult before you leave is really an important key to the transition for the day - so glad it's going well!!!

    1. Thanks mate :) It's a wonder you didn't hear her from your work..(she's next door).. hehe. xx

    2. I though the place looked familiar! If you ever need to pop over for a cry and coffee... feel free! ;)

  5. Oh - I can SO see the same thing happening here, but even worse! My child doesn't even settle at Playcentre with me there!!!!!!!!

    Seriously - she is all gung-ho until we arrived, and the second we opened the gate and someone said hello she'd literally run away screaming. I have ended up leaving, as I just don't quite know how to handle it, will try again later on... and Man, can I do the ugly crying also ;-)!!!!!!!!!!


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