Monday, 10 December 2012

My heart hurts x

Last Wednesday, we received the most awful news we could.. at a family meeting with the medical staff of Middlemore Hospital.

My wonderful Dad was told he had small cell lung cancer, and he couldn't have any chemotherapy or radiation therapy.... just palliative care.  4 months they said we had with our precious Dad.

The next day they took out my Dads chest drain, and on Friday we took our dad home to Kaitaia. He was so stoked to come home!
He had a terrible night that night, exhausted from travelling, and early hours of Saturday morning he had some trouble breathing... Palliative care came in the middle of the night and he settled right back down.  Saturday we got most of the family together and they got to spend some time with Dad even though he was stuck in bed, we had a family bbq and catch up.

Sunday Dad had an awesome day...up and about almost as good as normal...eating with us at the table, fooling around with us taking photos and having the kids crawl on him (as usual).

Monday Dad woke feeling quite sore and nauseous, Palliative care came out and did a proper assessment etc... and gave us some meds/booklets etc.... later that night he got puffed/breathless and then passed away at approx 8.45pm surrounded by myself, my brother, Mum, his sister and his grandchildren.... <3 

This last week has been a total nightmare for my family.... heartbreak like we have never before experienced...

Tonight I found a post/tribute that I  wrote back in September before my Dads 60th birthday.... you can read that HERE sums up how much I love My Dad...  he has even commented in the comments section, and when I read that again tonight...I bawled like a baby...

Thanks to all my beautiful bloggy friends for all your support and love <3 xx


  1. Oh my heart is so heavy for you....tragedy like that is what brings us to our knees....I will be praying for you and your family as you remember what a fantastic father he was for you all.

  2. I'm so sorry for your precious loss Neetz.
    He sounds like such an amazing Dad.
    Praying for you. Much love x

  3. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Much love to you and your family during this time. He sounded like the best Dad ever. Why do the good always go early? xx

  4. My heart just breaks for you. I have no words but praying for you. Lots and lots of love xxx

  5. I'm so sorry for your loss, Neetz. Sending you huge amounts of love x

  6. Oh Neetz ((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))

    I can't even imagine, there are no words at times like these... my prayers are for comfort for you and your family at the moment.

  7. I remember reading that 60th birthday post and I wish he was my dad...he sounds so cool. Makes the hole in your heart that much bigger though.
    The word I have for you is to "lean in". And keep playing that song that has the lines..."though I may not understand...I choose you....for you are Good"

  8. Just have to come back and send you more love xxx

  9. You have us all here for you, just like you have been for us. Talk to us, get it all out. We all grieve differently but the right way for each of us.

  10. hugs and loves for you my dear friend. I know I can't take the pain of losing your Dad away but I am always here for you. Kia Kaha xxxxx

  11. Oh man Neetz, bawling here. Love what jacksta said about leaning in, cause sometimes that's all you can do. All my aroha friend. xoxo

  12. Oh dear friend my heart is sad for you :-( I can't even imagine how sad you must be right now .. know that we're here for you and keeping you and yours in our prayers - kia kaha *hugs*

  13. I just cried reading that. I thought you were going to tell us about the plans for the next four months, I got such a shock. That happened so quickly. I remember you writing about your dad months ago. Sending so much love xxx

  14. I am so very sorry for your loss....

  15. So sorry to read this, Neetz...
    My love to you and your family.


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